She was lost in thought. In a grocery store, delightfully distracted by the tasks before her. Oblivious to what’s going on around her, she suddenly became aware of a presence, the kind you feel when you realize you’re being watched. She looked up and into the eyes of the man whose very existence used to bring such joy, peace and assurance.
He began to speak; clumsy small talk, stumbling down the road of an explanation of their last conversation. He told her how much he missed her. He spoke. She listened. At the end of his words, his eyes searched hers for a response. She began to speak words she hadn’t verbalized to anyone but her God and her own heart. She told him she didn’t miss him, because the man she loved didn’t exist; he was what he projected and what she wanted to believe. The woman stated that while his actions were disrespectful and unconscionable, she had to take responsibility for enabling him.
She realized the pain that he inflicted on her and others are a mirror of the turmoil roiling inside of him and in an attempt to quench the desire for unconditional love and acceptance, he sought comfort and validation in money, career accomplishments and women. His need was never-ending, insatiable in its hunger for more, but the only thing that would truly satisfy him is the love of Christ. Her statement was not sanctimonious or condemning, but said from a heart that understood like never before that she needs the same for herself. She was beginning to really get that He is the only one who should have her heart completely and only out of that love could she truly love. Her focus is on loving Jesus more and without abandon and that the man God has for her would be doing the same for himself.
Looking into the man’s stunned eyes, the woman told him she forgave him and this was a lesson she had to learn. In order to understand what true love is, she had to experience what true love is not. The truth hurts, but love heals.